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Wedding Gifts From Personal

So my husbands brother is getting married. And it is a small wedding. I think the main reason they are getting married are for the gifts. In the invite it asks people not to give them gifts to only give them money. And they were only going to invite a small amount of people and the future bride was saying she wanted to invite more because she wanted more gifts. And then she was worried about not having enough food for all the people she invited because they only have enough food for 75 people. And she is inviting 100 people. And my brother in law said well you dont have to invite that many people and she said yes because she wanted a lot of money. So I was starting to feel that they are only getting money for the gifts from people. And they have been together for 8 years and lived together for 6 so not much is going to change for them. Anyway they are only having one best man and one maid of honor. Well I am not close to the future bride at all. And she asked me in a letter if i would be her Maid of honor. I felt a little weird about it seeing as though we are not close at all. And when I say at all I mean at all. I probably see her like once every couple months at someones birthday party or Christmas. And we really dont even talk at those things either. And I was surprised she asked me, she has a sister whom she is very close to. They even lived together at one point. And she has a few close friends. And I also thought it was a little weird that she asked me in a letter. Actually kind of rude. So I wrote her a letter back saying I would, I didnt call because I didnt know her cell number. I know my brother in law cell number. But she is the one that asked me to be her MOH so I figured I should answer her. Well about a day later my brother in law calls me and asked me what my answer is. Which I thought was a little weird if she didnt get my letter yet why didnt she call. And if she didnt have our number she could of just asked her future husband. But I just told him yes and didnt really say anything else. Then a couple days later my brother in law asks my husband if we can pay for my dress because with paying for the wedding they cant really afford it. And my husband told him yes. And I was totally ok with it because most weddings doesnt the maid of honor and her brides maids buy there own dresses. So then like a few more days go by and my brother in law calls me and says you can pick out your own dress, but angie (the future bride) wants it to be black and white. I said Does she want to go dress shopping with me to make sure she likes the dress I am wearing. He said, No she says you can just pick it out as long as it is black and white. I thought it was a little weird still. And I havent heard from her at all since I have gotten the letter she sent asking if I would be in her wedding. And then my husband told me, Maybe she is only asking you to be in her wedding because we can afford the dress. Maybe she asked someone else before you and they said they couldnt afford a dress so she asked you. And that made me feel really bad. Like she didnt really want me in the wedding and that she was just settling for me because I can pay for my own dress. And when I expressed my feelings to my husband about what he said. He told me that he was just guessing and it probably wasnt true. Even though he was guessing it made sense to me. And if that was true it would make me feel like a fool standing next to someone that only asked me because I could afford a dress. Well months went by and still havent heard from the future bride. It is the end of April and they are getting married in early June. I havent bought my dress yet I was planning on waiting until late may. I just feel an easy about the whole situation. So I wrote her a letter saying. That I was sorry, but maybe she should ask someone closer to her to be her maid of honor. That I felt awkward about the whole situation. And for some reason if she couldnt find anyone, I would still do it because I said I would in the first place. But I think if I were you (her) I would want someone really close to me standing next to me while I was doing wonderful moment in life. And I sent it. Is this wrong of me to change my mind? Do you think she is going to hate me now? I dont want her to not like me because of it. I just dont really want to be in the wedding. And if we are not on bad terms I was going to ask her if she wanted me to video tape the wedding since they are not hiring anyone else to do it. Its the least I can do for changing my mind. Would that be rude to ask?Yes, this is my second time posting this. I needed more advice. Also It ISN’T my brother it is my husbands brother. So we are only family by marriage. I highly doubt my BROTHER IN LAW made a fuss weither or not I was in the wedding.alikonda, Why are you getting on me so bad about this. Yes who cares i posted it twice. To be honest i already feel bad enough for telling her no. I don’t need you on here telling me how selfish i am. Which I really don’t think i am. I haven’t talked to this girl since my mother in laws birthday. Which was January. They asked me to be the MOH in February. And i haven’t heard a word from her since i got the letter in the mail. If it is rude of me not calling her or talking to her face to face, why should i give her the common curditsy she didn’t give me. And if she need help, I would be more then happy to help. why didn’t she pick of the phone and ask or say you want to hang out some time. If she really wanted to get to know me better you would think she would at least call. they haven’t even sent out the invites yet. The only reason i know that they are asking for money not gifts because they told us. So i don’t even know the time I am supose to be there. So yes as a maid of honorshe is treating me really good. Like she wants me to be there when i don’t even know the time. It’s her wedding she should pick up the phone. And she has a sister why didn’t she ask her. All I said in the letter is that she should have someone closer to be in the wedding. Like her sister. I said it is a wonderful moment in life you, if i were her i would want the person standing next to me be close. Why are you getting so mad and defensive about this. Your not the bride. And you don’t even know her. So why are you sticking up for her so much. I don’t know why they are getting married anyway, they don’t seem like a happy couple about to get married. There always yelling and fighting everytime i see them. And this was way before they decided to get married. It was actually called off and now it’s back on. Why do you have a such a grudge against me. What did someone you wanted in your wedding walk off?

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